Dating Do’s and Don’ts for Ladies

Posted by Lisa C. on Apr 30, 2012 in DATING & RELATIONSHIPS | 3 comments

When a lady lets a man plan dates, amazing things happen.

Now you didn’t think I’d just post a blog with dating do’s and don’ts for guys without calling women out on their crap too? I pride myself on being fair or as I put it, an equal opportunity asskicker. What’s good for one sex is good for the other. Just know that I put this out there with the intention to help people to better themselves. So below are a list of do’s and don’ts that I hope will be helpful to women. The smart people will read both sets of do’s and don’ts so they can be on the lookout. These are the people I like to believe are reading my blog.

• DO LET THE GUY PLAN THE DATE! If you feel the need to be a controlling pain in the ass, having to know exactly where you are going, then googling it and looking it up on YELP to see how many dollar signs it has,  don’t bother dating. Work out your insecurities that lead you to demand to know exactly where you are going and if the destination meets your standards.
• DON’T limit yourself. Having a list of restaurants that you think you should be taken to is behaving with a sense of entitlement. That’s pathetic and not at all the makings of a kind, compassionate person. No one wants to date a materialistic bitch.
• DO allow yourself to be surprised and turned onto something new.
• DO make the suggestion of starting off with a causal, no-pressure meet up. Allow yourself the time to get to know him before agreeing to a more formal dinner date. Start with a drink and if the conversation is going well and there’s mutual chemistry, then you can get a table. If you’re not feeling it, be gracious and thankful and end the night.
• DO accept the invitation to meet up with his friends. This is a huge opportunity for you to see how he handles himself with you in mixed company. Will he leave you there to be hit on by someone else? Or, will he be attentive and include you in conversations and make you feel like part of the group?
• DO make sure you have your own cash and credit card in your bag before the date.
• DO be prepared to go halves on the bill. If out with a group, offer to buy a round or pull him aside and ask if he wants to do a shot. Doing a shot is very intimate. Especially when a woman initiates it. It requires you both to separate from the rest of the group. It’s a sexy thing to do. If you don’t do shots order yourself a drink and one for him too. Either way, thinking you shouldn’t offer anything and not pay for anything screams USER. It doesn’t show a man that you are a classy lady it shows them you have a warped sense of entitlement. OFFER… always offer. When they tell you don’t have to pay, be gracious and say thank you and clink glasses with them.
• DO ask what would appropriate attire would be. You can ask him what he’s wearing. If he says that he’s going to be casual, then opt for a sundress or a simple cotton dress or jeans and sexy simple top. DRESS FOR A MAN. Keep it simple and sexy. Read this article next on dressing for a man. http://www.lisatakesmiami.com/closet-jedi-how-to-dress-for-a-man
• DON’T make it obvious you are trying to figure out what kind of car you are getting into.
• DON’T get in the car if there is a pile of trash and crap on the passenger seat. Just stand there and watch him fumble to clear it away (make a mental note of this and consider it a red flag). A dirty car means a dirty home which means you’ll be cleaning up after this manolescent for the rest of your life.
• DON’T get shitfaced wasted on a date…EVER! Being a staggering sloppy mess is not a hot look. Leave the 5 shots of Patron for a night where you both are out with friends with a designated driver.
• DON’T pick your teeth, or apply lip-liner and gloss at the table. Don’t take long in the bathroom primping.
  

  Ladies a little gloss is okay but a full on listick application at the table is a no-no. Excuse yourself and primp at the ladies room.

• DO have an exit strategy. Call a friend in advance tell them you are going on a date and that they may need to come get you at any given point if it isn’t going well. If the guy gets drunk or high, make sure you have a friend you can call or money to call a taxi and get out of there as fast as possible.
• DON’T hold your knife and fork like you are killing something and learn how to use chop sticks. You can research this on You Tube.
• DON’T talk with your mouth full.
• DO put your napkin on your lap as soon as your ass hits the seat.
• DO offer to buy popcorn and snacks if he buys the movie tickets.
• DON’T talk about your ex anything nor ask him about his.
• DON’T open doors. If he doesn’t reach for the door, stand there, look at the door then look at him. In 3 seconds he’ll figure out what to do. Sometimes you have to teach them.
• DO mention any food issues you may have. If you can eat anything say so. Tell him you’re not picky and can go for anything. THEN LET HIM PLAN IT!! If you have food allergies tell him.
• DON’T offer to cook for him. No cooking for any guys until you see him cry. PERIOD. No intimacy, NO Lasagna. That’s the rule. If you are one of the rare few women out there who know how to cook mention it. Guys LOVE women who know how to cook. Tell them what you like to make, describe it, make his mouth water. Then when he asks when you’re going to cook for him smile and say “let’s see how things go.” Cooking for him is a reward, not an expectation.
• DO be pleasant and polite on a date. If he says something unfunny or offensive, remain quiet. Your silent reaction will speak VOLUMES. A guy knows when he’s not impressing you or isn’t funny. You don’t have to openly insult him.
• DON’T be a bitch when turning a guy down. It takes courage to ask a lovely woman out. Have compassion and class and tell him you appreciate the invitation but aren’t interested. Then if he insults you or pouts and begs after you politely said no, just say that you are sorry and smile.
• DO eat and do share dessert. If you go out to dinner EAT! Don’t just slide your food around your plate. EAT! Eating is sensual. Enjoying a meal together is foreplay. Appreciate the meal and EAT IT! He doesn’t care about how tight your dress is, he doesn’t care that you gained 7 pounds and started running again to lose it. JUST EAT!!
• DO have a plan for doing something after the dinner that DOESN’T involve going back to someone’s place. DO NOT go back to his place. If walking along the street DO NOT dodge to a window to look at a pair of cute shoes. Have conversation. He matters. Make him feel that he’s more important than shopping.
  

  Ladies, the rule is two drinks on a first date. You do NOT want to be this girl.

• DO ask questions and make an effort to get to know him. You’re not a celebrity. This isn’t a David Letterman interview. It’s not ONLY about you. It’s about being a good conversationalist and showing this guy you have brains, wit and charm and are more than a hot, dime a dozen piece of ass.
• DON’T ask him how much money he makes. There are other ways to find out how well a guy does for himself (or not) by observing certain things. Such as… his watch. Is he wearing one? Learn what different watches look like. A watch is the only piece of jewelry most men will wear. Some will invest a lot in a watch, others may not. It might not be where they choose to spend their money. Pay attention. Also look at his shoes. You can tell a lot about a person by the shoes they wear. Ultimately you want to be pleasant. You don’t want your time wasted but at the same time you don’t want to come across as this money hungry gold digging bitch.
• What do you do for fun?
• Do you have siblings?
• What were you like in high school?
• Do you watch sports?
• Do you like to cook?
• Do you have a dog?

These questions will lead to more conversation and open the door to reveal more without it being so heavy and intense.

• DO make him laugh and if something he says is funny allow yourself to crack up. Laughter is sexy. A woman laughing at something a guy says is a boost to is confidence and what guy doesn’t like a confidence boost?
• DON’T have your cell phone out on the table. You are with him. Nothing else matters until you’re not together anymore –only exception… to take a picture of you both together and text it to him or if a family member is in the hospital.
• DON’T TOUCH HIS CAR RADIO!! If you’re chilly tell him or rub your shoulders and say burrrr chilly.
• DON’T overdo the perfume. He should be able to smell you when she leans in for a hug or kiss. TIP: apply perfume at the bottom of your neck and in your hair. As you walk the scent will linger in your wake. When he goes in for a kiss or hug he’ll smell you.
  

  When dating, get creative! Here I am TAKING a rock climbing wall on a fun date.

• DO cut to the chase. If you know you are looking for a husband or are still deciding how you feel about him, be clear with your intentions upfront. Tell him you love meeting new people and enjoy being social but that you are looking for a special man to invite into your already full life. Keep things positive.
• DON’T launch into a detailed discussion about an ex. Have a statement already prepared. “We married young, are still very good friends, made peace with it and you’re open to someone new.” DONE! If he asks more questions offer what you feel comfortable offering but keep it light and breezy. Not heavy.
• DON’T sleep with him too soon (unless you already know he’s not relationship material but a fun guy you’re attracted to). Instead, it’s better to say you prefer to get to know someone to determine how much more you want to know, if anything. He’s probably thinking the same thing.
• DO be honest and true to who you are. If you see things in him that aren’t a fit don’t think you can learn deal with it or change it.
• DON’T allow him to be lazy and try to cut to the relationship without the courtship. The courtship is how you get to know each other. Some men seem to think this is the “fake” period where both people are on their best behavior and would prefer to just cut to the chase and advance to relationship mode. Bullshit. You want to get to know him and he should either respect that or hit the road.
• DO understand that not every guy is a liar and a dog and a player. Size him up but allow him to show you who he is. Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder. Does he look out for you when crossing the street? Does he reach for your hand? Does he look for you? Does he disappear for a few days without any contact? Does he show he’s genuinely interested in a future with you or are you just someone occupying his time until someone else comes along more in line with the ideal he imagines exists? A relationship isn’t just granted it is earned through time, bonding and building trust. This is why a couple can be “hanging out” for a year before it escalates into something more serious if it ever does.
  

  When the drinks a huge like this mojito, pace yourself. Being sloppy on a date is a big turnoff.

• DO introduce yourself to EVERYONE in the group. Offer a firm handshake and keep a confident posture. Pay attention to how he is around you.
• DO NOT COMPETE! If he plays the bullshit ego game of talking to every hot woman leaving you there to fend for yourself do so by walking away to do a lap. Find other guys to talk to. He’ll get the message in three seconds that you won’t tolerate that bullshit.
• DO a thorough assessment. Take time to think about the night, replay conversations, red flags, positive qualities, and decide if you want to really know more or if it’s just attraction. Remember just cause he’s into you doesn’t mean you have to be into him back. Either it’s there or it’s not. The things that are red flags matter. Don’t sell yourself short.
•  DO send him a text when you get home thanking him for a fun night (if he sends you a thank you text first, respond and wish him goodnight).
• DO make plans and continue to live your life same as always. If he tried to make plans with you again and you want to go accept if you aren’t interested then tell him so. Be honest.
• DO NOT FLAKE OUT! If you make plans stick to them. Don’t call the guy 2 hours before he’s supposed to pick you up and cancel. That’s rude.
• DO NOT accept an invite for the same night. There’s a 6 hour window. If he wants to see you that night then he better text you by noon otherwise you aren’t available and offer to get together the next night.
• DO have a full busy life that you are in total control of.
  

  A MUST READ for WOMEN. "Why Men Love Bitches" helped Jennifer Love Hewett go from doormat to dreamgirl.

• DON’T cancel things that matter to you for a date. If Thursday night is your night to watch American Idol and read celebrity gossip magazines THEN DO IT! Your time and what you do with it is YOURS and it should be respected. “Sorry I’m busy,” is all you need to say and then if you’re interested, suggest another day/time you are available.
• DO HAVE FUN!! What’s the worst that can happen? You can make a friend, be led to a job contact, or meet a man you can love and who will love you back.
• Don’t over think it and just relax and smile.
• DO READ “Why Men Love Bitches,” study it and make it your bible. Apply the teachings in this book and watch your life begin to change.