GET FIT GET LAID

Posted by Lisa C. on Jul 10, 2012 in HEALTH & FITNESS | 2 comments

I am astounded at how many women are okay with softer, flabby man bodies that lack muscle tone. I am also astounded at how many people men and women accuse me for being superficial because I like muscular, toned men. Now let me be clear yet again. I’m not into meat heads. Interestingly men presume that a hard body means a weak mind. This is not at all the case. It’s like when women presume the hot looking blonde with legs for days and a bombshell body is probably a hostess or a dancer and not a chemist. We judge people. So I was judged because I posted on my facebook that if a guy wants sex, he needs to hit the gym because no one wants to blow a walrus. Ok, maybe a little harsh, but tough shit. Guys who are soft in the middle, drink too much, eat crap food are sitting there looking at me up and down with approval. Well look buddy, it works both ways.

Last week I was out at Zuma and I was wearing a flowing dress that showed my chest and shoulders but wasn’t skin tight. We struck up conversation with these three men and instantly there was flirtation. Problem was, I wasn’t the least bit attracted to any of them. They were hysterical and smart and witty and they were cracking me up. That doesn’t mean I want to see them naked. One of the men commented that I have a tight body and asked what I had under that flowing dress and proceeded to poke me in the stomach. So I poked him right back in his stomach and said “oh I know exactly what I got under here the question is what do YOU have?” He didn’t like this. He’s a Latin man. Latin men from Latin countries like what I look like but that’s where it ends. I’m too New York, too mouthy and they don’t like women who call them on their shit. He asked me to switch places with my friend which I happily did.

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

When I was born my dad was a 22 year old man. He’s a marine. He’s been working out with weights since he was 14 years old. I’m sorry but when the first man to hold you is this tall, handsome jacked up man it messes with your subconscious. Doesn’t it make sense? You’re this teeny little baby and the world is new. Then several times a day you are swooped up and cradled in safety. You feel protected. You giggle when dad swings you around, puts you on his shoulders.

Then later in grammar school when your dad shows up for a parent teacher meeting and the other kids say, “WOW is your dad Superman?” You connect the dots. A big man means man who can protect. A big man is respected, feared. No one will mess with me if my dad is around. No one will mess with me if I’m on the arm of a big man and not just big. The world is filled with BIG men. I’m talking big AND in shape.

In the 80’s my dad started a love affair with Entenmenn’s cakes and Haggen Daz ice cream. He also would split a bucket of chicken with my also HUGE grandpa when we were away on vacations. Ok so dad gained weight. At one point he looked like a professional wrestler. He had a big buddah belly. My stepmother adored him anyway, bless her heart. But I was worried for my dad. He always worked out with weights but what he didn’t factor in was that the metabolism in a man’s 20’s changes into his 30’s. So he was jacked up with a belly full of cake.

My stepmother always was into fitness. She has been a size 2 then a 4 and remains that way. He body is SICK. She’s 57 years old and can rock a bikini better than most 30 year olds I see. She’s got abs and tight skin because she has muscular arms and legs. She’s an inspiration to me absolutely.

 

When I got married in 1998, my dad shrunk! I mean he literally shrunk. He lost a lot of weight really fast and his skin seemed sallow and grey. After visiting with doctors he was diagnosed with diabetes. Since 1998 he made significant changes to his diet. Manages his sugar intake and has been able to control his diabetes with a single pill taken before meals and continues to work out 5 days a week at least.

Ok so back to the core issue and me allegedly being a superficial bitch for requiring my man to be in shape. HELOOOOO!! IT’S A HEALTH ISSUE!! Sure it is nice to watch a man take his shirt off to reveal broad muscular shoulders and arms and a nice flat stomach but it’s also nice to have him respect his body, mine and his health. Do I want to date some chub ass, invest my emotion, bond with this person only to have them drop dead of a heart attack? Umm? NO!!

When a guy seems shocked that I’m not grateful for the flirting and compliments but instead, I come at them asking where they work out and what do they do for exercise, I simply explain that if I’m bringing the goods to the bedroom then they have to too. It’s healthy to work out. I am grateful to belong to Equinox and go to the classes. I work out 5 times a week for 3 weeks and then I take a week off. I also keep a food journal which I may as well write in crayons. Jellybeans for breakfast?? Really?? I’m getting better though. I like to eat and I love carbs so what I do is portion control. The real issue for me isn’t really the food, it’s the booze. Alcohol packs calories and if I’m out and about in Miami being social drinking 3, 4 times a week it adds up. So I’ve been limiting the alcohol for the weekend only.

Since working out at Equinox SoBe I have noticed my clothes fitting normal again. Those snug denim cut off shorts are comfortable again. I have more to do and I keep working. My next step is to involve weights into my workouts and the wretched leg bands. Hopefully that will blast the little extra I have on my thighs.

We all have our things. For me I like a handsome man with a brain in his head and a hard in-shape body. He doesn’t have to be a roided up gym rat. He can be lean and toned, broad shoulders and just strong looking. I know what I’m attracted to and I make zero apologies for it. I’ve dated guys under 6 feet tall and they seem short to me. I’ve also dated guys who were thinner or heavier. I’m not into it. There are plenty of men who look at me and think I’m too short or too dark or whatever. I’m not offended. It’s biology. We like what we like.

I applaud the women who can see past the outside and into the bank account. Miami is filled with women who are way way too beautiful for the men they are with. But unlike New York where any woman with a pulse and a college degree can make six figures, Miami is land of the 40k jobs. It’s a whole other game here and evidently when a man is nice with money in the bank women can overlook his fat belly and back hair. I’m sorry… I can’t. I won’t.

So go ahead call me superficial. I’ll be the superficial bitch sweating my ass off at Equinox South Beach. A man can have a successful career, brains, money in the bank and hot body. Sure it’s as rare as a unicorn but I’m willing to hold out.